C to the T

2010-10-09T21:21:00.001+08:00

i don't know why. Why am i given this test when i'm not even strong to face it. i love my friends so much that i'm willing to sacrifice anything for them, for us. enough said.

2010-08-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

thinking of someone. someone whom i shouldn't be thinking of.

2010-08-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

ughhh. i didn't complete my El paper yesterday! Half of it! 50% of it! both paper 1 & 2. dammit!

2010-07-25T17:21:00.002+08:00

things that happened.

Racial harmony day was a blast
took my prize at the museum
saw this hot RI guy
getting to know him thru FB
study
tuition
study
study
study!

q....................................................f

2010-07-21T20:39:00.002+08:00

I miss him. he was the one who thought me to be patient. He was the one who loved me so much. Someone who cared so much about me, showed me how important i am to him. I miss him so badly. He was the last thing that went through my mind each night. He was someone very important to me, and he still is. Trust me i'm so not over him. Even if it's for 2 perfect years already, my love for him just can't go away.

I don't know where he is now but one thing i'm sure about is he's happy. Happy with someone he loves so much. I hope he's doing fine out there. Why wouldn't him? He's gf will take care of him ):

2010-07-19T20:21:00.001+08:00

study study study study....

2010-07-15T21:21:00.002+08:00

i'm tired. So tired. i study everyday but my dad still said i didn't. THATS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SEE IT!. ughs. i just need my 2 hours of rest and play some Netball after a long time but, he can't accept the fact that i just need my 2 hours!! i fucking don't like my DAD!

2010-07-14T22:22:00.001+08:00

i have my bestfriend, what more to ask from?

2010-07-14T20:10:00.000+08:00

trying to get my ass back to REAL studying soon! i hope!

gosh

2010-07-14T10:03:00.002+08:00

i really hope the agony would stop soon. I don't like the pain and the problems i'm facing through right now. I hate misunderstandings. It keeps me wondering where did i go wrong? Imma normal human being. i make mistakes, punch me i bleed. I'm not a super hero who saves the day. Why can't anyone understand that? Why can't anyone understand that we're all the same?

Why is it so hard for one to forgive?

i feel like crying...

2010-07-13T20:19:00.005+08:00

i found someone who actually thinks she's good in many ways. Trust me i don't like her. Such losers like her should actually look in the mirror and reflect on herself. Loser.

okay, next is my legs. i need to chop it off soon. i hate them! they are not coordinating with me. Somehow it did but most of the time it didn't. Fuck. it's so painful. Both legs especially! the right one only at the kneecap. THE STUPID LEFT ONE! OH STUPID LEFT ONE had the ankle cracked and the kneecap loosen. so fucked up. i can't walk for a far distance. i had to take a bus and waste my ezlink card.

next, AIDS. AIDS is really freaking me out. everywhere i go i see the word HIV or AIDS. Really scary. i read alot of books on AIDS.

2010-07-12T21:17:00.001+08:00

not a good month to be honest.

2010-07-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

BODOH PUNYER POMPAN! MCM TK BERSALAH GITU EH!

2010-07-09T21:01:00.001+08:00

i feel much better. i don't feel as much stress as i felt before this.

i think i'm in love, again.

ugh this sucks!

2010-07-07T19:09:00.002+08:00

i hate to be at home. I don't feel welcome by them. once i stepped into the house i have no one to turn to except for myself. i can't sit there and carry all the burdens to myself. i need someone. Someone called as my mom. She maybe just right in front of me,but her mine will never be on me. She doesn't care about me. all she cared was about WIRDY AND IAN! i'm her daughter too but i don't get as much care and concern from her.

2010-07-07T09:23:00.000+08:00

currently in my school comp lab doing some stupid blogging thingy

2010-07-04T21:20:00.002+08:00

something doesn't feels right. i hate it. this will be the last time you'll ever see me.

2010-07-04T21:20:00.001+08:00

something doesn't feels right. i hate it. this will be the last time you'll ever see me.

2010-07-02T20:17:00.002+08:00

i feel so fucked up. I can't study. Nothing seems to enter into me brain, not even the the easiest one! i really feel like killing myself!

2010-06-30T20:08:00.000+08:00

movie with dian was great. Letters to juliet. Awesome.

2010-06-28T17:15:00.001+08:00

i've been going to tuition lately. That's a plus point.

2010-06-27T16:55:00.002+08:00

Things i tried to avoid eventually showed up. I hate it. This happens to me all the time. i cannot believe what i just did. i left him just like that. I can't control my tears any longer at that point of time. I know you're reading this. I'm sorry if i really did something wrong. I didn't mean to. maybe i didn't realize it. I'm sorry. you know not having you it feels so incomplete. You have got to tell me what's the problem. Cos if you don't i will never learn or understand. You have to help me. It may be the worst thing to hear but i'm sure i can keep up.

We both know we're just good friends and not more that that. i understood it, you understood it. What more can i ask? Look what i'm trying to say here is please don't leave me.

2010-06-25T15:48:00.001+08:00

Finally i'm back in singapore. And now i miss brunei and friends. I miss the people in RIPAS and my schoolmates. I MISS THE FOOD.I MISS SHOPPING (:

2010-06-18T21:30:00.001+08:00

all those cool people including me, HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

2010-06-18T20:44:00.001+08:00

lama lama, aku boleh mati kalau mcm ni.

2010-06-18T14:05:00.001+08:00

okay, i don't feel good. I need my bestie now. Tey, i have alot to tell you ):

2010-06-18T13:15:00.002+08:00

now what? Okay. i'm gonna waste my time doing something, idk what but i'm gonna waste my time till tuition later. I can't help it. I can't sleep thinking of something. ughhhhhh. So suck. Siti you suck. You shouldn't have said it. YOU SHOULDN'T. Why are you so stupid? ughhhh! siti, fuck you. uh ouch.

Let it go. You don't wanna be the evil one. Karma might hit you back. seriously! You have no right. )): okay major headache. ouch.

2010-06-17T20:37:00.002+08:00

i did lot's of exercise today. Netball come badminton. I'm so weak now. I need my break, especially when i still have my period. Not just that,my ankle and my kneecap is not coordinating with me. I feel so old ): i can't walk far. boohoo.

tomorrow oh tomorrow ):

2010-06-15T19:44:00.002+08:00

Netball was awesome. Woke up very early to pack up my things and headed off to School. I didn't expect it to rain but thank god we actually had the chance to play. I slipped alot of balls cos the floor's wet. I miss the bitching part when it comes to meeting up with the girls. They had soooo many stories to tell! hahahaha. i don't. ahah as always.

I cannot believe this. I had two meals for Macdonalds twice! Never in my whole life. ish. Don't be shock when i gain wait in a few days time.

My girls just love to compare their with mine. i wonder why? hahaha girls...

MY DAD IS REALLY PISSING ME OFF. i hate him. He's an asshole. I'm sorry to say this but idc. He never understand me. He can never see me resting, he will ask me to do everything in one day. UGH. okay stop it. i fucking hate him.

oh siti, sure you're strong. keep yourself busy so you won't remember. All the way babe, cos i know i can. Let it go. this isn't gonna be easy.

2010-06-14T18:02:00.000+08:00

ADUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH! SAKIT BODOH ANKLE AKU )):

ADDOOOOOOOOIIII awwwwww!

2010-06-14T17:31:00.002+08:00

i have grown fat. This sucks. I have to get my ass back to Netball already.

2010-06-13T15:29:00.000+08:00

MOM left the house with all the household chores for me to do ): i'm in pain now. ouch. i'm wishing someone would come to my house and give me a panadol now.

2010-06-12T20:23:00.003+08:00

My mom hates me. She don't understand anything i'm going through. The pressure, the pain, the urge, Anything. All she want from me is a fucking A1 when myself can't simply reach for it. She loves twisting words and love to give order without ending it with a thank you. I hate doing things for her cos at the end she'll scream and shout at me for not doing it right when i've already tried my best.

She loves to compare me with my sister. I cannot deny that she's better than me be it in attitude wise or study wise. She doesn't how sad i felt if i can't satisfy her especially when she expects me to pass my Exams. I tried, she doesn't know. I hate to cry in front of her, she might think i'm weak but i can't help it.

She doesn't trust me at all. Thats what she said. As far as i'm concern i didn't betray her trust. She sets unnecessary curfews for me to follow. I need my space as well. ): I've always wanted to run away.

I don't have anyone to talk to at home. Is there something wrong with me? cos everyone just keep avoiding me. My sister too. She doesn't like it if i'm above her.

Thanks god blogger exists or else i don't know where to vent out my anger.

Lastly don't blame me if i start to hate my mom bit by bit.

2010-06-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

my family will be going to JB tomorrow. WHOOHO

2010-06-11T17:05:00.000+08:00

i just lied.

2010-06-11T17:00:00.001+08:00

i don't like myself.

2010-06-11T16:32:00.001+08:00

So warm today. I perspire like a pig. Was planning to go swimming with my sis but my period came. Tsk.

2010-06-10T20:59:00.002+08:00

i tried to study these few days. Don't be surprise cos nothing comes in. I get distracted so easily. Tsk. Why can't the world just Shut up for two hours and let me study? Why? oh why?!

2010-06-09T11:30:00.002+08:00

Oh i'm tired but worth it. My room is finally SUPER clean. Painted my room green again. Light green. okay i really can't wait to move into a bigger house. Like seriously.

2010-06-07T18:12:00.002+08:00

Exhausted is the word that describes me best like now. I'm super tired. I had to clean the whole house as it could be easier for us to pack up the things when it's time to move out later on. My family decided to move into Yishun area. I'm gonna miss my hometown.

It took me one whole week to complete Fatal seductions. The book is awesome even though Someone said it is pervertic. Hahah. Well this book actually thought me a lot. Having multiple sex partners are one of the ways people can get affected to HIV or AIDS. Hmm. It's quite saddening when they had to die in the end. No sex before marriage!

I chipped my tooth -.- ughs. Stupid shit.

Netball tomorrow. Whoohoo. burn calories siti!

2010-06-06T17:20:00.002+08:00

Even on a Sunday Siti has to wake up early. My room is in a mess, huge mass. (since when it's not?) so Finally Dad agrees to sell away this house. Like finally. On the other hand i don't wish to leave my friends behind. Even my best friend is living in tp. We always go to school together. And adding up another chicken living in tp who is quite close with me already. tsk.

2010-06-05T20:17:00.000+08:00

oh i think i'm in love :/

2010-06-05T17:50:00.003+08:00

my darlings. atleast they don't leave me.

i don't feel good. this feeling is actually ruining me indirectly. Like there's something i should know but i don't know. See? this is how complicated it is. I wish i could get the answers from anyone or maybe from myself? I day dream a lot thinking about something. When was the last time i day dream? This is not good. I mean i don't know. Who knows? like everyone says, things happen for a reason. i don't wanna be like last time, always being avoided, always so down.

Oh you. Someone who is so nice, so sincere, so.. you. But i shouldn't expect more. Should stop right here, right now. Goodbye.

2010-06-04T18:17:00.003+08:00

i'm having muscle ache at my right arm. Ask me why. played badminton with Mohd noh. Hahah. he's a real chicken. hahah

bought ma guitar strings, fixed it and it broke again. idiot. ughs!

2010-06-02T22:11:00.003+08:00

like i said. i'm enjoying my holidays even though i have to do all the laundry, Did my MT homework. Left so much to go. Goo siti. i will pass my n level and proceed to os! ugh!enough said. i love myself.

2010-05-31T16:46:00.002+08:00

life's great except for cleaning-the-house-part. I really need my sis to be here. I did like almost everything in the house be it the laundry blah blah.

i really feeling like sleeping right now. So tired and empty. Oh yah i'm grounded. haha. Normal. i don't really care if mom decided to ground me cos atleast it can make me stay at home and study.

2010-05-28T19:23:00.001+08:00

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):

i really feel like crying. NEVER IN MY LIFE! where did i go wrong to deserve all this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

2010-05-27T16:20:00.001+08:00

FUCK. my results sucks.

2010-05-26T20:21:00.002+08:00

imagine someone were to really kidnap me, because he love me. awww. After all this i had confidence in myself BUT .. ughs!

2010-05-25T17:57:00.004+08:00

Bowling with my classmates are one of the things which lightens up my day. As most can see, i'm not really myself these days. I don't know why must it be this way. I don't like being in this stupid situation. I, myself don't know what i'm thinking about. This heart of mine feels like it's gonna drop anytime. oh god, the agony,

2010-05-24T19:46:00.001+08:00

i really love this photo!

2010-05-24T17:08:00.003+08:00

i couldn't sleep well thinking of something. Something which i have waited for so long. Currently i'm experiencing body cramps. I seriously don't know where it came from but still it hurt so bad. I hardly move nor sleep. 2 days seems like two years and i'm already starting to miss it. I don't like the feeling of this, even though i don't know what that is.

Well maybe to others i might seemed crazy but.. ughs. i don't know wth is wrong with me. Having said that i'm love sick. I don't know if it's true. He so not my type, so skinny, so dark, so weird. hmmmm.. i shouldn't have gone to the set.

well, what the whole world has to know is i went back at 11pm last night. Miracle. hahahaha.

2010-05-21T21:24:00.001+08:00

Magical hands huh. Tsk. it took me ages to complete this kinda drawing. uh. Currently still working on Adam lambert's drawing. Oh my.

2010-05-21T21:23:00.001+08:00

A crow died in the school hall. It died in the most unglam way. Scary shit.

2010-05-21T19:32:00.000+08:00

my god, how did he get so hot?!

2010-05-21T19:14:00.000+08:00

oh megan.

2010-05-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

i used to love them!

2010-05-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

this picture, oh. the movie made me tear ):

2010-05-19T21:57:00.000+08:00

i love her freaking hair!

2010-05-19T21:49:00.000+08:00

how the fuck?

oh ughd.

2010-05-19T21:18:00.002+08:00

My results are like my hamster shit. So tiny and small meaning so little to be happy about. (well maybe to my hamster it's big) All i got was a single digit. HOW DO I FUCKING GET TO SEC 5? omg. HOW DO I EVEN GET TO THE FUCKING ARE SCHOOL. tsk tsk tsk.

NINJA WARRIOR SO COOL.

mommy ugh?

2010-05-18T21:44:00.001+08:00

Mom returned, i don't like her naggings. ughhhhhhhhh! i think i'm gonna explode!

I only pass 2 subjects this means i can't go to brunei! )))):

oh yea

2010-05-18T20:15:00.002+08:00

Am i really that bad looking?

oh yea

2010-05-18T20:15:00.001+08:00

oh eh?

2010-05-17T19:00:00.002+08:00

Results are out and i'm not really that surprise with the outcome. I haven't been studying even though i know it's mid year. I don't know what i'm thinking. For SS i got a big fat Zero for it. Damn! Never in my whole life! What will mom say if she sees my Report card? ughs. The next shocking thing is, i failed my mother tongue! UGHS, again, never in my whole life! @#$% i GOT A PATHETIC 10/50. ughs. But but, i passed my EL (: Well something to be haolian about.

I have become more and more vein each day after the make up course i have attended last Saturday. Ughs. I hate to have the feeling when i didn't take good care of my skin.

Ronaldhino-a soccer player whom i hear his name everyday. Well i don't understand why people love to compare me with him. I don't even look like him at all! Well they say it's about the teeth but from what i see my teeth is worst than him. We don't even look alike, but having my teeth worst than his, i still think i look way better than him. Sorry to say that but having you guys said imma blah blah blah isn't gonna make me fall or whatever. I don't care what people think or say, i do what i want and i don't trouble any of you guys out there. And lastly, my teeth just doesn't fucking bother you people out there. so just stay away and don't kpo about my life. Thank you very nice.

Hmmm. i'm sick and tired of GYSS. i don't like this school. I better study hard and get lost. tada.

so long sucka.

OMG

2010-05-16T18:51:00.001+08:00

My bro has high fever. sent him to the clinic.
now i'm tired,

oh oh, my hamsters finally stay in one huge cage whooohoo!

2010-05-15T17:09:00.001+08:00

life just get SO BORED THESE DAYS!

OH

2010-05-15T15:22:00.002+08:00

Three days i've been MIA-ing. I did alot of things at home till i don not have anytime to on the computer. Mt room is very messy but still i do not have the energy to get my ass on it!

So i went out today at 10 am to attend my Make up class. Whoo. i love it. they teach me how to do everything which concerns the face and skin. The teacher said, i have a very nice complexion and my eye make up (: It's another thing for me to be proud of. HAHAHAHAA. So we did face masque, milk cleansing, toner-ing and steaming! WHOO.

Mom is not discharged yet and that explains why i'm busy. I had to do all the laundry. Having another sis didn't make my life any better. All she said was " i needa study kakak" wak lu uh.

alone

2010-05-12T22:02:00.003+08:00

Mom was sent to the hospital again for her surgery. Tomorrow at 12pm she'll be in the operation room. Shockingly she wasn't nervous at all. All she cared was eating as she was not allowed to eat for a few hours before her operation start. She ate quite a lot to an extend.

So waited for pathetic 2 hours for a bed. I was so pissed as i was freezing the whole time. I hate aircons! Another issue..

Was suppose to meet Danny for a movie. (i was hoping it could relax my mind for a second) And this is the second time i got ditched. Why? i don't know. First reason was his cousin passed away. And for todays reason, He's suffering from a high fever. At first i was so pissed. But allahualam, i shouldn't be mad at him. Only god knows if he's lying or not. I can't judge him, i can't be mad at him. Who knows if he's really sick at home?

Hmmm. After everything, i walked aimlessly around Novena. Nobody to turn to, nobody to talk to. My good friends are still having their exams. Shouldn't bother them. After a few rounds(alone),decided to return home. Bought Cinnamon melts for myself. By the time i reach home, the first thing i did was, playing with my 5 babies (:

Adam- the fat and lazy one
Kristie- the sexy and beautiful one
Do- the "chill" one
Re- the naughty one
Me- the noisy one

2010-05-11T19:59:00.002+08:00

Thank god my paper ends today. Friday will be the last beat,Oral. well i'm pretty sure i can keep up with that. ( i hope ) So for the next two days i won't be attending school. I not sure if it's a good thing or not but shall look on the bright side! i won't get to see .....

2010-05-11T19:57:00.001+08:00

I don't see any point in blogging. I don't think anyone would read it anymore. My story isn't as exciting as before. So boring, so dull. Same old thing i blogged about. Maybe i should stop or maybe not.

2010-05-11T18:49:00.000+08:00

He her he her he her... ME?

2010-05-10T18:15:00.002+08:00

I've always wished the girl would be me but, i guess having that thinking wasn't a good idea. I believed too much and it end up like this. Disappointment. All these years i waited for someone to appreciate me or even love me, none came.

You should know how i'm feeling. Or maybe is it i'm ugly? or blackie or even.. i don't know. I don't know who am i anymore. I haven't been paying much attention to myself. I guess i should start looking at myself.

in and out

2010-05-09T21:30:00.003+08:00

I still think i'm so deeply in love with him. so, so, sooo in love. I wish this could go. Like each time i see him, my heart skip a beat, but when i don't see him i start looking for him. uhgs.

waiting for his 3rd text message.

mama's day

2010-05-09T19:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Mamas' Day. i'm tired.

aww

2010-05-08T14:36:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night, ouh yesterday night! VERY very unexpected. argh! wish it could come again. omg omg omg.

2010-05-07T22:45:00.001+08:00

2010-05-07T17:54:00.000+08:00

If you think i'm bad then i'm sorry. All i know is i loved you before and i made a mistake. I didn't expect you to say that. What you said hurt me so much. I don't know i did. i didn't say you're a bitch to me and i don't hate you when you said i do. You got it all wrong. It's obviously referring to me.

now, i gotta rest. Too many things happened at one time.

i don't know what i'm feeling

2010-05-07T17:34:00.001+08:00

i don't know what i'm feeling. i just wanna cry.

2010-05-04T21:05:00.002+08:00

It gets warmer everyday. Could this be a sign? I hope not, i don't wanna die yet. I haven't achieve anything. I wanna be a successful woman. So God please.

2010-05-03T16:08:00.001+08:00

how beautiful. i love her hair.

2010-05-03T15:44:00.002+08:00

i rest alot. i need to get back to work! Shall have tuition on saturdays, okay tey?

I didn't sleep well last night. The weather was so hot that it woke me up twice. Got adam a new cage with wheels this time. Unfortunately the wheels are too small for him to fit in. He's too fat. Adam vomited a few times due to the great fall from the table. He looked alright but i don't know if he's really okay. He kept alot of food in his mouth and vomited out again. i think i should bring him to the vet.

melati untuk marvel

2010-05-02T21:21:00.001+08:00

mad world

2010-05-02T21:11:00.002+08:00

i love it when he does that! so sexy. UUUGGGHHHHHSSS. i suck.

am i?

2010-05-02T19:44:00.002+08:00

When i looked into the mirror just now morning, i finally realized why i do not have a boyfriend.
Why am i so stupid for not realizing it from day one? I'm so ugly. No wonder mom and dad always says that. I'm fucking ugly and i know that.

when i look at you.

2010-05-01T21:42:00.001+08:00

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.

Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I...
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you

You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors that
Cover Me, All I need every
Breath that I breathe don't you know
You're beautiful...

Yea Yea Yea

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can't
Find my way home anymore
That's when I, I...
I look at you
I look at you

Yea Yea Oh OH OH

And you appear Just like a dream
To me.

ughsssss.

2010-05-01T21:39:00.001+08:00

ugggghhhhhsssssssss. *melting* Eliminated also ):

oh god, please don't take it away.

2010-05-01T19:12:00.003+08:00

look at this beautiful woman, siobhan magnus. too bad she got eliminated last thursday. i love her voice and her hair. ugh, she shouldn't get eliminated. ugh. i'm thinking whether i should follow her hairstyle? well that goes nothing.

I spent $75 on myself. i bought lots of things like bras, shoes, shirt..etc. I have to start saving again. I need new specs already if not i'll stsrt walking like a blind woman. Me and my mom are in a good realationship again.

ain't got a chance

2010-04-30T21:34:00.002+08:00

You should know the feeling/urge of wanting to tell someone something so badly.

the feeling so bad,

where ever you go

2010-04-30T20:13:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me if my boyfriend were to met with an accident and he became cripple. What will i do? How will i react?

If he were to be in a wheelchair, i'll push him where ever he wanna go. I'll be there when he needs me and i'll never leave him.

2010-04-29T18:58:00.000+08:00

just look at her body! i was like that 2 years ago! ughs. and look at their chemistry. ):

hope

2010-04-29T18:41:00.001+08:00

When can i do this to my boyfriend? i remembered the last time was two years ago. i miss those feelings.

my lovely white and black.

2010-04-28T21:25:00.000+08:00

(09:12:50 SGT) Sherilyn: pls bang ur head real hard
(09:13:00 SGT) Sherilyn: cause it's always abut him..
(09:13:19 SGT) braaaazil.: really?
(09:13:43 SGT) Sherilyn: YES
(09:14:04 SGT) Sherilyn: AND IT'S FUCKING IRRITATING!
(09:14:13 SGT) braaaazil.: sorry
(09:14:18 SGT) braaaazil.: i'll try to stop
(09:14:23 SGT) braaaazil.: now im tired
(09:14:25 SGT) braaaazil.: i needa rest
(09:14:27 SGT) braaaazil.: love you
(09:14:29 SGT) braaaazil.: mwaa
(09:14:30 SGT) Sherilyn: go go
(09:14:38 SGT) braaaazil.: );
(09:14:41 SGT) braaaazil.: are you mad at me?
(09:14:46 SGT) Sherilyn: yeah
(09:14:49 SGT) Sherilyn: real mad
(09:15:09 SGT) braaaazil.: sorry
(09:16:14 SGT) braaaazil.: but why are you mad?
(09:17:43 SGT) Sherilyn: cause u're totally obsessed wif him
(09:17:53 SGT) braaaazil.: no, i'm really in love with him
(09:17:56 SGT) braaaazil.: correction!
(09:18:05 SGT) braaaazil.: not obsessed
(09:18:06 SGT) Sherilyn: haiz
(09:18:14 SGT) Sherilyn: i've given up on u
(09:18:20 SGT) braaaazil.: of>
(09:18:21 SGT) braaaazil.: ?
(09:18:28 SGT) Sherilyn: nvm
(09:18:53 SGT) braaaazil.: you wont understand
(09:19:25 SGT) Sherilyn: yeah i noe
(09:22:10 SGT) braaaazil.: i don't know why i keep apologising but i'm sorry. I'm like really, really really in love with him as he's the reason why i wanna go up to sec 5 cos i know we'll be in the same class. BUT i love you more than i love him sheri. So whatever you told me, i'll listen but it takes time for me to complete it.
(09:23:25 SGT) Sherilyn: i get it
(09:23:34 SGT) Sherilyn: but u dun hav much time left
(09:24:12 SGT) braaaazil.: i know. i will really really try my best
(09:24:44 SGT) Sherilyn: u must because onli u can save urself
(09:25:04 SGT) braaaazil.: thanks sheri
(09:25:26 SGT) Sherilyn: no problem
(09:25:43 SGT) Sherilyn: just wanna let u noe i'll always be here 2 help
(09:25:52 SGT) Sherilyn: :-D
(09:27:06 SGT) braaaazil.: you know i love you.
(09:28:00 SGT) Sherilyn: yeah love ya too

tired.

2010-04-28T20:45:00.005+08:00

I'm sick and tired. I need my 8 perfect hours of sleep. Exams starts tomorrow but i don't seem to fucking care anymore. Because of school, i can't have my perfect sleep and still have the fucking dark eye circle which made me look like my hamster. Now i've turn from ugly to fucking ugly and i know that! why oh why!? Ugh. School is really driving me crazy each day. I have no time for myself. I revised all the topics that i have learnt for the day but none comes into my fucking brain!

texted ___ but no reply. I don't understand why. What did i do? He's adding up to my stress when at the same time i hope he could be my shoulder to cry on.

Now lets bang my head.

meaning?

2010-04-24T16:15:00.002+08:00

i had this scary dream last 2 nights. and now i'm down with fever.

oh boy

2010-04-23T21:10:00.003+08:00

how hot can he be? ughs! i'm gonna find you.

Well here's a little update.

Mom got admitted due to her never-ending-leg-pain.
that means i have to do the house hold chores (god!)
i have to cook(worst!)
dad will be at home. ( he'll watch his stupid tennis over and over again) Oh god why do i have to live with a weird family? Why oh why?!
My little brother finally got his new phone.
i'm gonna miss Nysa birthday day out tomorrow.
i've topped up prepaid card.
i'm tired and hungry. i wanna eat mac fries ):

ps: meeting Suneh, cacat and the rest tomorrow. see ya girls.

hopes and dreams

2010-04-22T20:51:00.003+08:00

As you can see, i need to brush up on my Malay and English language. I haven't been studying lately. Wait, i did but most to most, 10 minutes and there i go dozing off. I can't help it. Once i stepped into the house mom will start her stupid, unnecessary nagging. It irritates me. Well before this i can just stand there and listen but now, i don't have the time to entertain her. I quarreled with her almost everyday. God begging you for mercy!

All the little mistakes, the huge ones, the minor ones, are all being blamed at me even though i didn't do it. And her reason was? COS I'M THE ELDERS. Wow around of applause to my pathetic mom. I didn't choose to come out first and i know it's not a choice. But please have mercy on me. I'm tired returning from school, can't i get some peace at home? ughs.

I'm a little bored and very tired so I decided to entertain myself here while I figure out what I should do next. i think i should start studying for my chemistry re-test tomorrow as i got 2/25 for the previous one. UGH.

okay off to my hamster. bye world. miss me.

all i need

2010-04-20T20:08:00.003+08:00

Life.

When someone say the word life, to me it's short. Life is short. We don't know when we'll die. No one knows, only God. He's the one who have already written how we're gonna/should die. Well i hope i'll just die like a normal human being. I don't wanna die in a war or due to some sickness. I'm afraid. So afraid that each time one talks about dying, i'll shiver and walk away.

ugh. It's just that i don't like talking about this. But i realized one day we still have to figure it out how our lives should be/end. I wanna die a good person. I don't wanna be a bad person. Well as far as i'm concern, i've made lot's of mistakes. I hurt people, i hurt their feelings too. But, you guys should know, i didn't mean to. It was unintentionally and i'm sorry.

Sometimes, life's so difficult that made one think about suicide. Honestly, i was one step closer to murdering myself. I can't take the challenges God threw it to me. But then i realized, things happened for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. i believe in that. And what i know is, God won't throw us challenges which we can't afford face it. He won't test us beyond our limits, and that's when we know we're strong to face all challenges.

Honestly, i don't like seeing him like that. Being so lonely most of the time when his friends are everywhere. Though i haven't been talking to him, i can feel that he's upset about something. Wait, i know what he's upset about. I just don't know how to help. Does he even need my help? All he need now is... her.

ughs stop it Ct!

Lastly happy birthday Nysa. ily.

hot people i adore.

2010-04-18T18:57:00.004+08:00

emma, i love her hair.
emma
hayley
kristen
priety zinta
robert pattinson
leonardo
My darling adam lambert!
my darling! mwaa. i love you adam. too bad you're gay, BUT i'll find the other 6 that looked like you. i'm gonna marry one of them. ughs! hot hot people. tsk.

Where do all these people come from huh?

Like normal human beings.

2010-04-18T17:29:00.003+08:00

I don't understand. Why did he run when he saw me? He pulled his darling Girlfriend away. What the hell did i do? Aren't i suppose to be the one running away from you? You left me earlier back then, 2 years i waited. You left, now you're leaving again? What the hell! But seriously why do i even bother? Go grab that girlfriend of yours and run. I don't care. The moment when i want you so badly, you weren't there. Now, you came back, appearing everywhere i go. This sucks, You suck. Since your darling girlfriend is way better, go!
*read the sign*

Each time i visit his blog page, he never fail to express how much he's in love with her. How can i miss that part? The most important part. The other party just don't realize. I'll wait and see how it goes, how long can he wait.